A Song About My Neighbor, Middle Finger History, and the Berks County Eastern Regional Police Department's Greatest Achievement
By Universal Mic | Release Date: September 30, 2026
Some songs are born from heartbreak. Some from joy. Some from late nights and empty streets.
This one was born from a man in shorts with his hand down his pants walking past my security cameras in the rain.
Ladies and gentlemen — meet Brian.
The Inspiration
Every great artist has a muse. Mine lives next door.
For years my neighbor Brian has dedicated an impressive amount of his personal time to monitoring my windows, walking past my apartment, waving at my cameras, and apparently — reporting my fingers to local law enforcement.
On July 4th — Independence Day, appropriately — Brian must have dialed 911 to falsely report that I gave his wife the middle finger.
The Berks County Eastern Regional Police Department responded to an imaginary middle finger call and their acronym is BERPED!!
In what I can only describe as a landmark moment in American law enforcement history — Middle Finger History was made in Berks County Pennsylvania. Brian wanted attention. The cameras were rolling. And now Brian is famous.
You're welcome Brian. 😄
The Song
Brian's Love Story is a comedic, razor sharp musical portrait of a man who has ALL the time in the world for his neighbors and absolutely none for his own dishes or children.
The lyrics speak for themselves —
"His dishes are piled up to the ceiling fan Dirty clothes on the couch since the Obama plan Garbage at the door like a welcome mat But he's watching MY windows imagine that"
And the chorus that will live forever —
"Ohhhh Brian You're circling again Hands in your pants in the pouring rain You wave at my cameras you make up your lies Brian I see you're being followed by flies"
A Message to Brian
Brian — the cameras don't lie. They never did.
But here is what Universal Mic wants Brian to know —
Your kids need you more than my apartment does. Your dishes aren't going to wash themselves. Neither are your feelings. If you love me Brian — just say it out loud. 😄
A Message to Berks County Eastern Regional Police
Thank you for making Middle Finger History with us on July 4th.
Your dedication to responding to imaginary hand gesture complaints that never happened while actual issues go unaddressed will not be forgotten.
In fact — it's now immortalized in a song on Spotify.
You wanted to be famous. Universal Mic is going to help you out. 🎵
Listen on Spotify
Brian's Love Story drops September 30, 2026.
Follow Universal Mic on Spotify so you don't miss it.
Brian will definitely be listening. The cameras will be rolling. 😄
Universal Mic — Because sometimes the truth is funnier than fiction. And sometimes your neighbor proves it daily.